Depression Sugestion
by b-ur-sonshine
Summary: this story has demi lovato references ans onny with a chance kind of. but anyways its about a girl going through changes, becoming depressed and putting on an act for everyone because she doesnt want them to know. this is based on part of my life story
1. Chapter 1

**My first fanfic ever! I'm so excited please review! this is kind of like my life story for the first part except for the depression and bulimia and all names are fake. also it's kind of what i would like to of happened in the future when i was going through this cos let me tell you, it definately didnt happen like this!**

I was always a happy child when I was little. I was fun-loving carefree and overall a very content little girl. But when I was six something tragic happened. It was like my whole world fell apart. My best friend, Elise Brine, died in a car crash and I was depressed. The worst thing was that no-one knew about her but me Demi Munroe. My family had no clue that she existed and my acting skills, that are now highly developed, helped me through the rough patch of my childhood by keeping my depression a secret.

But keeping a secret like that drove me even further into depression which spiralled me into being emo (emotionally unstable) and cutting anywhere on my body that would bleed. I was out of control and I needed help as much as I didn't want it, and of course I didn't get the help I needed.

It's now been three years since I started cutting and I'm still going. I'm doing dancing and piano now but none of my teachers know. The pressure is getting to me and I feel like I need to tell someone, like I need to pour my heart out and just tell the whole world about Elise and my depression issues and bulimia, which has also been added just recently to my list.

Since Elise's death I made a new best friend Lily who went through primary school with me from the first grade. It was great because we lived in the same street and all. But that friendship fell apart when we moved up to high school, she went to a different school. She made new 'better' friends and started ignoring me like I was a feather in the wind, forgotten. Of course I still had Tabitha and Nicola with me but Lily ignored them too.

Then came the worst part, her new friend Kayla, changed dance schools to ours and then Lily completely ignored me like I was some random who just happened to live in the same street and went to the same dance school who she didn't know or care for. And that hurt me, it hurt me a lot. It was the depression all over again and everything got worse. But no-one suspected a thing, I was just the happy little girl who was content all the time. Boy were they wrong.

Then things started to get tricky at school. I changed groups from Tabitha and Nicola because they were getting on my nerves about how much Lily hurt them and how I should feel sorry for them, little did they know. When I changed groups they got angry at me and telling me things like 'you should of told us' and 'why? Are we not good enough for you anymore?' I wanted to tell them about my issues but they wouldn't support me, they'd back away from me like I was some freak of nature. I had no idea what was wrong with me although i knew why i was doing it, which was really confusing. Though when i got my period everything was worse because it's really heavy and to make things worse i was moody and in pain for the 7 days it went for! It was frustrating and annoying but i couldnt help what i was doing. It took away the pressure of my live and how everyone expects me to be perfect and be happy all the time.

I started to be bad in class and i blew my top off at my bitch of a teacher Miss Luther. Let me explain...

(flash back)

_I was walking back from the bathroom which i had stayed at for at least ten minutes cos i was being bad. When i got back the bell rung and my teacher was like jess stay back... and i was like oh god here it comes... then when everyone left she started yelling things like 'why'd you take so long?' , 'I thought you were a good girl?' and 'Why arent you happy and nice and being bad and acting like the 'cool' kids?' I got so annoyed at her for yelling at me and asuming so much about me that i blew my top and yelled...'why do you care its not like your my mum or anything? and maybe i dont wanna be this impecable girl whos happy and smart and so lovable and who everyone asumes has the best life and has no troubles... well you no what i have troubles and i get stressed like everyone else and i dont have the perfect life like everyone thinks so just BACK OFF! Ithen ran off crying and my teacher decided to leave me to myself. Smart choice miss smart choice._

_(end of flash back)_

so there you have it. Thats what happened when i blew my top at my teacher. Very emotional really. But on with the story.


	2. Chapter 2

**So this is chapter** **2** **and last chapter i forgot** **the disclaimer so here goes...**

**Me: i don't wanna do it**

**Demi: but you have to do it**

**Me: well im not gonna!**

**Demi: DO IT**

**Me: NO**

**Demi: DO IT NOW!**

**Me: (jees anger issues) FINE**

**Demi: FINE**

**Me: GOOD!**

**Demi: GOOD!**

**Me: SO WERE GOOD?**

**Demi: OH WERE SO GOOD!**

**Me: friends?**

**Demi: sure **

So about a week after my blow up with my teacher i started cutting more frequently and it wasn't pretty. I sat in the bathroom with my razor and set up with the towel and cream and disinfectant. I cleaned my wrists and held the razor to the vain, which was bulging with anticipation. I pushed harder and neatly sliced across about 2mm deep until the blood pulsed out and dripped down my hand.

I repeated the line 3 times across my wrist and then again on the other wrist so the blood was dripping freely down my wrists. I cleaned my wrists and applied the cream so they wouldn't get infected. The pain induced by the razor was nice (yes I know you all think I'm crazy) but it relieves the stress of my life so I feel nothing but pleasure from the pain. It was like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders and I was free of stress, for the time being.

I was becoming more sophisticated in the way I dressed and how I acted towards my friends, who yes were still my friends but they didn't know about my problems, and teachers. Although I acted normal a few people were suspecting things because of the fact that our school uniforms were short sleeved and my scars stuck out like a sore thumb, or huge red scars in my case. People would try to focus on my wrists and would ask me about what was on my wrists and I would have to lie, it killed me inside but I had to cos otherwise I would be in a heck of a lot of trouble with EVERYONE. Eventually it became so consistent that I started to wear thick chunky bracelets and when I was told I couldn't wear them I changed to a scar cover up product to hide them as best I could.

As for the way I dressed that was a whole other story...

**So howdy all like the second chappy? Was it good? Not good? Please review! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey everyone! Y'all no in the first chapter how in the flashback it says jess? Yeah that was my bad it's supposed to say Demi sorry! Anyways heres the 3****rd**** chapter! Yay **

**Disclaimer: i don't own anything but the plot and some of the characters!**

**Sorry about the shortness of the 2****nd**** chapter! I was in a rush! This one will be longer.**

The clothes I used to wear were bright coloured and were usually just dresses, shorts, jeans, t-shirts and singlets. All brightly coloured of course. But these days my clothes are usually black, red or dark colours and after I started the 2nd term of school I had gone and changed my whole wardrobe so it was completely dark and suited who I was. I didn't wear any short sleeves unless I had the scar cover up stuff or bracelets that covered them.

I was getting used to the people at school whispering about me, trying to figure out what happened to me. They would talk about my dressing sense and how I had practically no colour unless it was red or purple, blacks a shade because they only saw me in public. I mean don't get me wrong my clothes were hot, totally suited my figure and were fashionable, it's just that I used to dress so differently so I expected people to talk.

Although I dressed like that in public I didn't at dancing because we actually had a 'uniform' there. It was pink or tan stockings, a black leotard and shorts or a skirt. None of my teachers, Miss Linda or Miss Kaytlin, knew. But because in ballet I couldn't wear a jacket, like I could in tap and jazz, I think Kaytlin was starting to suspect that something was wrong because I was never as happy as I used to be. One Tuesday in ballet class I had forgotten to put on the scar cover up and our arm exercises, let me just point out there's only 6 people in our class so she can focus on us individually, our arms and wrists were turned up for majority of the lesson and I swear I caught Kaytlin staring at my wrists a few times.

I knew I had to stay out of her way for a bit so I excused myself to the bathroom for some time to figure out a lie as to why I had been grumpy and sad. Sure enough Kaytlin dismissed the class 5 minutes early and followed me to the bathroom. But before she came it was time for my acting skills to come out and play, luckily I had just figured out my excuse. There were a few that were perfect and a reasonable excuse. But because of my odd behaviour I knew it needed to be a good one. I quickly calculated in my head the time it would take for Kaytlin to get to wear I was and how long we wouldnt talk for. I ended up with an answer of having a good 10 minutes before we talked so I made sure i thought through my plan very carefully.

Kaytlin was always nice to everyone, so it was no surprise when she came and sat with me and didn't ask any questions because she knew I didn't want to talk right then. After around 5 minutes of silence, we both knew one of us had to break it so she asked the simplest question 'what's wrong?' I knew I couldn't avoid the question so I brought out the lie that had been sitting in the back of my head...

**DUN DUN DUN! Ooooooooh a cliffy! You'll have to read the next chapter to find out what went down in the bathroom after ballet! ****please review**


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